I’ve made no secret of the fact that the transition to being a parent has not been easy for me. I’ll admit to struggling with things many times over. In the last six months I’ve had a range of painful health issues, a traumatic birth, a trip to the UK with a four month old baby, my husband Joseph was seriously injured and we had a death in the family. All in all it’s been quite an experience!
These circumstances have taught me a lot about stress and the way I deal with it. Recently Elliot has been protesting a lot when I put clothes on him. It’s getting very cold where we live so going nude isn’t an option! Through this daily ‘struggle’ I discovered that it was much much easier to move the clothes around Elliot (eg. pull on the sleeve to move his arm into it) than it is to move Elliot’s body into his clothes.
When I discover something like this it is great as things instantly get much easier but at the same time I feel slightly miffed and unsettled by the realisation that I’ve been doing things ‘the hard way’. It can be hard to admit that I’ve been creating the struggle all along!
There have been many instances like this lately, from the way I’ve been carrying the heavy pram to the car (instead of wheeling it over! *facepalm*, to the way we use our car seat to the way I communicate with my family. I’ve learned that it is worth looking at things from another angle. Yes, life can be very challenging at times but I’ve learned that there is usually something I can do to lighten the load if I’m willing to take responsibility, whether that be asking for support or reevaluating the way I do things, there’s always a way through.
So why do we make things so hard on ourselves…..
Well for me this is the real ouch. I’ve discovered I make things more difficult than they need to be when I’m identified with the ‘struggle’, seeking sympathy and feeling sorry for myself. When I approach situations in a responsible way knowing I am never given more than what I can handle everything starts to come together. I haven’t mastered this by any means but every time I move Elliot’s suit around his tiny little arm I am reminded that the struggle isn’t real, it is in fact something I’ve created.
I highly recommend using these free meditations, they have supported me to move through many a stressful situation.